Insecurity chronicles

I’ve been plagued by insecurity in one form or the other at every stage of life!

As a child, I was the pride and joy of my family—the perfect student, excelling in both academics and music. I was the class topper and a gifted musician. In my annual reeport card, one teacher even described me as 'a box of chocolates,' full of delightful surprises. In high school, I once won an essay competition, even beating out my seniors. When a teacher asked, 'Did you think you would win?' I replied honestly, 'No, I thought [friend's name] would win!'

And that, in a nutshell, is the story of my life. No matter the achievement, in my own eyes, I’m never quite good enough.

Throughout my teenage years and beyond, I’ve battled this feeling of not being good enough. At times, I swung to the opposite extreme—putting myself out there when it wasn’t necessary, only to completely embarrass myself.

Where am I now, you ask? I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I still struggle with these feelings. I keep putting myself out there—I’ve even danced on stage in front of an audience (and, to my surprise, enjoyed it!). Yet I’ve come to accept that this feeling might never fully go away. I often look around and see everyone as prettier, smarter, in better shape, healthier, more successful, and more put together than I could ever hope to be! And I am fine with that!!